Just Curious
When we’re operating above the line—in work and in life—we’re better leaders workers, parents, partners, people.
Shifting above the line takes 2 things:
Noticing when we’re below it so we slow down and don’t react
Practicing staying curious
Being curious means asking ourselves or others really great questions that are grounded in sincere openness to what’s possible.
What are really great questions you might ask? (Great question!)
They are generative: they get people thinking creatively in a way that has forward movement (which makes them fuel for engagement and collaboration)
They often start with “what” or “how”
They are not close-ended, “yes” or “no” questions
They are not usually “why” questions which can make us feel a little defensive or judged; sometimes why questions invite explanations and excuses rather than good information
When we or others are wandering around below the line feeling cranky, righteous, offended, defensive, or any unpleasantness we experience everyday, here are questions we can ask to help us move back above the line:
What information are we missing?
What else is possible? (beyond our judgements, assumptions, and interpretations)
What do you see that I don’t ?
What outcome do I/we want?
How do you see this moving forward?
What are the next best steps?
If these questions are grounded in a sincere desire to understand other points of view and NOT in a need to be right, they have a disarming effect. This makes them the secret sauce for effective leadership and partnership.
And, asking great questions only works if you listen—with an open heart and mind. More on this soon.